SEPTEMBER 2022:
I’ve started this blog post a hundred times in my mind and at least three or four times in actual writing. Plus I’ve kept notes in my phone of thoughts that come up for me as I’m out walking or meditating. Stepping off the career ladder is not an easy thing to do, and it comes with A LOT of thoughts and feelings. I think I’ve run the gamut and am now circling back on those feelings so it’s probably time for me to get some of the thoughts written down.
Writing is vulnerable for me, and I feel drawn to it. Or, more like a nudge… like I get these little taps on the shoulder and whispers, “you gonna write that down?” or “you should write about that.” Or, “hey, I wonder what would happen if you wrote some of that down?” I’ve listened to all my favorite writers turned podcasters talk about writing and have finally come to the conclusion that I just need to sit down and…. write.
So, here I am, Universe!! Let’s do some writing again!!
About what?………
Tomorrow I am going to meet with the photographer who I actually paid really good money to take pictures of me on my 50th birthday. I wish I had snapshots of the reactions of some of my friends when I told them I was doing this. Or my mother. Her reaction was especially priceless. Women just really struggle with pictures of themselves. I’m one of those women so you know… “do the thing that scares you” so I did.
It was called “The Empowerment Experience,” and it spoke to me because it seemed fitting for where I am in life. As I was approaching 50, I saw an advertisement come across my Facebook newsfeed, and I was really impressed by the appealing words and the studio shots I saw of ordinary women who looked incredibly ‘boss’ in these gorgeous pictures. I really hope that Kelsey transformed me into a gorgeous super model like the other women in her photos. If not, I’ll just know that I can’t quit my day job.
Speaking of jobs, mine has changed. I guess that brings me back to the origins of this writing because I need to write about how I’ve stepped off the career ladder. Yep. I got about as high as I think I’ll ever go in the VA and decided it wasn’t really for me. I’m not climbing anymore; quietly easing on down those ladder rungs to get a little closer to the ground. To get grounded.
Leadership in VA is a complicated, multifaceted relationship. ……AND CUT!
JANUARY 2023:
I didn’t publish that first part but this window on my browser has been sitting open for four months waiting for me to finish it. I’ve been contemplating getting back into writing on this blog for months now. I’ve started and stopped several times. I’ve written and deleted. Made notes but never actually wrote about them. Spent hours thinking about it.
“New Year, New You” they say…. maybe 2023 will be the year I actually start this thing. I have a lot on my mind about leadership and career progression and professional disappointments and reflections on work life. I take daily walks and listen to the podcast “We Can Do Hard Things” by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle, and I am frequently reminded that, in life, we don’t really have to seek out the hard things to do. Life is going to give us hard things, and the real trick is to figure out how to keep life as simple as possible while also feeling fulfilled.
My work life has changed, and it has not been an easy process to set the ego aside; to not achieve the next promotion; to “just be a therapist” again. But I’m settling into it and finding the benefits of less stress and more time. Hopefully this will mean more writing.
