Today I got notification that my separation date from the Air Force is official: 19 Aug 2013

Tomorrow I turn 40

Why are those two things happening together? I'm not sure what to make of it with the exception of I'm getting older, and I dropped my separation paperwork last week. Is that purely coincidental, or do those two events have some kind of connection?

Right now I find myself reflecting on my 30s. What did the 30s mean to me? How has my life changed since 29? What did I expect? What did I accomplish? Any regrets? What do I want to do with the next 10 years?

When I turned 30, I was a married mother of a 9 year old and 5 year old. Emily had just started kindergarten, and I had just started a new job at the Harrison School District. I remember being so excited to have the same school schedule as the kids and to be finishing my time with St. John's on such a good note. My work there was done, and it was time to move on. 

The 30s have involved a whole lot of change and growth. Divorce, deciding to go to graduate school, completing a Master's thesis and then a dissertation, commuting back and forth to Springfield (all those late nights!), giving up just about every weekend for studying, and then the difficult decision to join the Air Force and leave my babies. Sacrifice is the word that comes to mind. Not just what I went through with that decision, but also what my kids have endured. As a result, we've all grown, and we have grown stronger together because of it. I remember the agony of making that decision and the fears of what could come of it. All those fears have been unfounded. Everything has worked out just fine, and I have a great relationship with my kids. 

I've traveled a lot too over the past ten years! New Zealand... that monumental trip! Thailand with Melissa, Alaska and Oregon with Margaret, a solo trip to California with a drive up the coastal highway, New York City on the 5th and 10th anniversarys of the World Trade Center bombings, Washington D.C. for my first Air Force adventure, Boston and another great solo trip with a drive to Cape Cod, Buffalo, NY (Niagara Falls and Lilydale, home of all the best psychics!), San Diego to see my Marine graduate basic training, New Orleans with my best AF friends, and most recently a family vacation to Florida. Family.... I like the sound of that.... in all this adventure and growth and learning, I have also found a "very special friend" who makes me smile, treats my children well, and allows me to be myself. Encourages it, actually.

I've experienced some loss and tears too. The end of a marriage I tried so hard to keep together; an excruciatingly painful decision which impacted so many, especially Austin and Emily. The death of Grandpa Bob, affectionately known as "the grouch," and the end of a life so well lived when my sweet grandmother passed away. I've made some great friends in grad school and the AF, and our lives have gone in different directions. I've learned how to say good bye.... especially when that means putting my own needs first. 

I've run a lot of miles. I wish I could have kept count!! My mind flashes to memories of the endless country roads of Arkansas with some very fabulous women who I could not have made this journey without. My heart aches with pride and love and satisfaction when I think of my wonderful girlfriends!! Both those who run, and those who swim or lift weights or do yoga or chase their kids around ball fields! I have been immensely blessed with friends. I've accomplished two marathons, Alaska and San Antonio, as well as several half marathons, including New Zealand. I met a boy who likes to ride bikes, and I managed to get in a 100 mile ride before closing out the 30s. This has been the decade to push the body to its extreme in order to see what it can do! Thank you legs.... sending you gratitude!

I am a psychologist. I am a doctor. I am a Captain in the United States Air Force. I am a mom, a friend, a sister, and a very grateful daughter. I am a partner to a wonderful man who treats me like a princess. I am so thankful for this beautiful life I have!..... Which takes me back to that initial question of turning 40 and separating from the Air Force.... I think I've figured something out over the past 10 years.... my family and my friends really matter to me. They matter more than anything else, and as cool as it would be to travel the world, live in Europe, do some kind of fellowship, and become a Colonel, I've decided it just wouldn't be the same without "my people." I'm home, and I think I'll stay here awhile. 

Dear 40s, you look so very good! Most of my friends have already met you, and I absolutely love, adore, admire, and respect those women! They set the bar high, and I can only hope to do you proud the way they have! I don't know what you have in store for me, but what I know for sure is that "the best is yet to come!" Let's do it....

"And she lived happily ever after!" -Walt Disney