It has been a very restful weekend with a lot of good laughs and good food!! This is more what I thought COT was really going to be like. Worthington and I went on a long run this morning through downtown Montgomery. We got to practice some of our newfound "deployment" skills when we crossed to the "other side of the tracks" and encountered gunshots! Don't freak out (although I sort of did!), we didn't see anyone, and the shots could have come from quite a ways away. However, we quickly decided it was time for us to get our white asses back over to the more civilized side of town (i.e. no bars on the windows or abandoned factory buildings). Worthington lived in NYC for several years so he wasn't quite as shaken as I was. It was a nice run though. Then a bunch of us enjoyed an artery-clogging breakfast at the Waffle House. I've lazily played around on the internet this afternoon, posting more pictures on Facebook. We'll go to dinner this evening off-base before we are again sequestered from the rest of society for five more days.

So, most of my postings have been a little sarcastic, bordering on critical of the Air Force. So, today I think I'll write about the video we got to see last week that sort of changed my perspective of why we're here. You might be able to find this video on Discovery Channel.com as it was produced by them. It is a documentary of some soldiers lives in Iraq, and it chronicles the experience of working in a medical setting during the early part of Operation Iraqi Freedom (or Enduring Freedom? One of those freedom missions?). This video is hugely eye-opening, and it really gave me a sense of how this choice I have made to join the Air Force is one not only for the financial security and the training opportunity, but also for the chance to serve some real heros. The Air Force's motto is, "Integrity first, Service before self, and Excellence in all we do." When I watched the video, I felt an overwhelming sense of pride and humility at the daunting task of trying to help these men and women who have risked their lives and endured witness to some horrific acts in their efforts to carry out the mission they have been commanded. There have been several philosophical debates about the propaganda we have been presented regarding war and our need to be "ready for war," but this video brings home the fact that in the midst of war there are individual lives that are forever changed as a result of the losses they endure. I felt terribly inadequate as to how I would even begin to work with these people, especially in the conditions that these doctors and nurses were working under. At the same time, I imagined how easily it could be any one of my new friends/flightmates who are in the position of these soldiers. Because of the video, I began to see how the motto and the propaganda (some of it at least) applied to me. Maybe I'm beginning to recognize a higher purpose for why I am here. It was difficult to keep the tears back while watching the video... I really felt for these people and their families. Maybe that's propaganda too? But, I don't think so.

On Friday I will drive out of here, and although the Air Force does not teach us the mourning phase of group dynamics (they leave that one out, focusing on forming, norming, storming, and performing for you psychology folks reading this), I am starting to think about the bonds I have made with some of these people and how difficult it will be to say goodbye. After only a month, we've become very good friends (maybe that's because we've spent every waking moment together for the past four weeks!). Some of us will go back to the life we left, and others, like me, will be moving on to something completely new and foreign again. Change is hard.... no matter if it's a change from a life known for the past four years or the change from something laid down in four weeks. I anticipate more down time for reflection and emotion once I arrive in San Antonio. However, I know I'll have the support of some really fantastic friends- both old and new.