It has been a very restful weekend with a lot of good laughs and good food!! This is more what I thought COT was really going to be like. Worthington and I went on a long run this morning through downtown Montgomery. We got to practice some of our newfound "deployment" skills when we crossed to the "other side of the tracks" and encountered gunshots! Don't freak out (although I sort of did!), we didn't see anyone, and the shots could have come from quite a ways away. However, we quickly decided it was time for us to get our white asses back over to the more civilized side of town (i.e. no bars on the windows or abandoned factory buildings). Worthington lived in NYC for several years so he wasn't quite as shaken as I was. It was a nice run though. Then a bunch of us enjoyed an artery-clogging breakfast at the Waffle House. I've lazily played around on the internet this afternoon, posting more pictures on Facebook. We'll go to dinner this evening off-base before we are again sequestered from the rest of society for five more days.

So, most of my postings have been a little sarcastic, bordering on critical of the Air Force. So, today I think I'll write about the video we got to see last week that sort of changed my perspective of why we're here. You might be able to find this video on Discovery Channel.com as it was produced by them. It is a documentary of some soldiers lives in Iraq, and it chronicles the experience of working in a medical setting during the early part of Operation Iraqi Freedom (or Enduring Freedom? One of those freedom missions?). This video is hugely eye-opening, and it really gave me a sense of how this choice I have made to join the Air Force is one not only for the financial security and the training opportunity, but also for the chance to serve some real heros. The Air Force's motto is, "Integrity first, Service before self, and Excellence in all we do." When I watched the video, I felt an overwhelming sense of pride and humility at the daunting task of trying to help these men and women who have risked their lives and endured witness to some horrific acts in their efforts to carry out the mission they have been commanded. There have been several philosophical debates about the propaganda we have been presented regarding war and our need to be "ready for war," but this video brings home the fact that in the midst of war there are individual lives that are forever changed as a result of the losses they endure. I felt terribly inadequate as to how I would even begin to work with these people, especially in the conditions that these doctors and nurses were working under. At the same time, I imagined how easily it could be any one of my new friends/flightmates who are in the position of these soldiers. Because of the video, I began to see how the motto and the propaganda (some of it at least) applied to me. Maybe I'm beginning to recognize a higher purpose for why I am here. It was difficult to keep the tears back while watching the video... I really felt for these people and their families. Maybe that's propaganda too? But, I don't think so.

On Friday I will drive out of here, and although the Air Force does not teach us the mourning phase of group dynamics (they leave that one out, focusing on forming, norming, storming, and performing for you psychology folks reading this), I am starting to think about the bonds I have made with some of these people and how difficult it will be to say goodbye. After only a month, we've become very good friends (maybe that's because we've spent every waking moment together for the past four weeks!). Some of us will go back to the life we left, and others, like me, will be moving on to something completely new and foreign again. Change is hard.... no matter if it's a change from a life known for the past four years or the change from something laid down in four weeks. I anticipate more down time for reflection and emotion once I arrive in San Antonio. However, I know I'll have the support of some really fantastic friends- both old and new.

AEF (don't ask me what that stands for?)

Me on the Ropes Course (the one on the left hugging the pole)



Me on the Rock Wall



This is us!

That's Worthington on my left and my roommate, Helena (or Swank as she's known here) on my right. Shannon, who I mentioned before, is behind me to the left.

We just returned from our little camping trip out into the woods. Okay, not exactly woods. Mostly a white chat area with about twenty tents on concrete pads settled near an air-conditioned bathroom/shower, and a pavilion that is large enough to seat 330 people. Did I mention the tents were all air-conditioned? :)

Our experience really was not bad at all (as I'm sure you're already thinking). We did three major activities: litter instruction, EMEDs, and ropes course. Litter instruction is where they train us in how to go out into a field of dead or semi-dead bodies, load said bodies onto these stretchers, and hurry them into the awaiting emergency vehicles. However, they didn't actually have us practice this task, which sort of defeats the purpose if you ask me, but I wasn't complaining. Instead, I enjoyed the two hour nap we got in the morning because this training was so short. Then in the afternoon, we did EMEDs. This involved setting up a hospital in a bunch of tents where we got to "play" hospital along with security outside:

Don't fret, those aren't real guns; nor was that real blood.

I opted, as always, for the easy role: victim of depression. This academy award winning performance came with NO BLOOD and merely some suicidal ideation. I was able to work up some tears (not hard to do these days), and I managed to avoid getting too messy. Because my character only required my acting skills (and no make up), I utilized my waiting time wisely: taking an afternoon nap. Yes, friends, AEF was quite good to me. I slept more here than I have in the past three days!

We also did a ropes course where we walked out on a beam exactly like a telephone pole about four or five stories high. You can see the beam and a person walking in the background of the group picture. Most people held on to the harness for dear life. I managed to get brave enough to hold on with only one hand. We also did a ropes course, a rock wall climb, and repelling. Again, as the "old woman" of the bunch, I was very proud to be able to do the wall climb almost all the way to the top. Only two other girls were able to get that high, and several of the guys couldn't make it either. I'm sure I'll pay dearly tomorrow when my back and forearms are killing me. Honestly, it was a really great experience! A huge confidence builder. There's nothing like standing on a three by three platform attached to a pole with 20mph winds blowing and knowing you're getting ready to walk out onto a wire.

The worst part of the whole experience was eating MREs for five of the seven meals. Have you ever tried to drink coffee out of a ziploc baggie? It can be interesting. I became very resourceful and saved my styrofoam cup from dinner last night so that I could use it this morning. The weather was great for July in Alabama! The high was upper 80s, low about 70.

Okay, gotta run... Worthington and I are going to.... run! :)

Sorry about the crappy formatting on the pictures. I'm having trouble figuring out how to embed all these pictures. Anway, you got the point!

Love you guys!!!!

Corona, anyone?

This week has been very busy (as if the other two weeks weren't?). I've figured out a way to stay awake during the never-ending lectures: sit by Worthington. The lectures are much more entertaining when I have someone to bounce my thoughts off of. For instance:

Lecturer: The birth of the U.S. Air Force occurred on September 18, 1947
Me: Interesting, Worthington, the Air Force is a Virgo!

Thoughts like this keep us both laughing, which we have to contain, which requires a great deal of energy, which then keeps us awake. Nice strategy, huh.

I'm feeling a little more like myself today. Last night I got to wear real clothes and have a real beer! Yes, folks, we now have off-base privileges so a group of us went to the bowling alley last night. I did not bowl, but I enjoyed onion rings (with lots of ketchup!) and a couple of Coronas. Wow! Those things really go to your head when you haven't had one in nearly a month! It was a great time getting to laugh and hang out with the guys (and one girl, Shannon, she's my favorite girl here). Worthington and I did a five mile run around the base this morning and the weather was absolutely perfect for July in Alabama. We're planning to go off base tomorrow morning and do a longer run. Today will involve studying for a test we have on Monday (although I am finding many procrastination opportunities this morning!).

I am very proud to say that I scored 100% on my fitness test!! I got that mile and a half down to 11:46 (11:54 was the best you could score) and did 55 sit ups and 36 push ups in one minute. Mary, you are the bomb! I couldn't have done it without all your training over the past year or so! I was one of only two females in my squadron (about 100 people) who scored 100%!!! The other girl was quite young! Horray for us "older" women!! :)

I've lost four pounds and one inch. However, I think the Air Force may fudge this a little bit because Worthington says there is no way he has lost nine pounds and four inches. I think they pad it so that we'll feel like we're accomplishing something.

This past week we got to do a WELPS course. I have no idea what WELPS stands for (the Air Force only talks in acronyms and even our flight commander doesn't know what they mean half the time). This activity involved using a compass to determine directions to go based on a scenario. I, of course, was not the compass-user for our group, but I did get to display my expert high-crawl techniques. Thank God I put those awful knee pads on because we literally had to crawl around on the grass for over 20 minutes! I know you're thinking, "big deal? crawl around on the grass?" If you doubt that this is difficult, go out in your yard when it's 95 degrees, strap on some knee pads, and crawl around for awhile. 20 minutes is an eternity! However, I would rather crawl around on the grass than sit in that wretched auditorium! We all agreed WELPS was better than lecture.

To keep things interesting for you, I'll throw in a little foreshadowing. Next week... two nights away from my comfy little bunkbed... camping. Yes, we will be in tents next week for AEF (or is it AEC? I can't keep up?). I'm sure there will be some stories to tell. I'm not looking forward to the primitive showers and the port-a-potties.

Finally, I'm happy to report that my wonderful sponsor in San Antonio got all my stuff moved in to my new house! I can't wait to get there!!

Aletha, I loved the song and happy anniversary!
Brandi, keep up the running!! You can do it!! :)
Lucia, thank you for the postcard! Love the picture!
Mom, thank you for all the cards... sometimes you make me tear up! I'm keeping my chin up.
Everyone, your thoughts and prayers are much appreciated. Your comments help me to feel connected!! Love you all.

Carry on.....

Death by Powerpoint

Today was the never-ending day of powerpoint presentations in the auditorium where all 330 of us pile in, raising the room temperature by at least ten degrees, and attempt to keep our eyes open while being bored into oblivion by the history of the U.S. Air Force. I don't know what's worse, drill or "the big red bed" as the auditorium is affectionately known. During break one of the guys in my flight said he remained alert by counting the number of seconds between people's coughing with the record for longest time being a mere 12 seconds. Upper respiratory infections are plowing through our group like ants at a picnic. Little germs are setting into all these compromised immune systems. So far so good for me. I've doubled up on Vitamin C, and I'm hoping the running will help prevent me from getting sick. I did another 6 mile run on Sunday morning with Worthington and three others. This morning we had a thunderstorm, which kept us from any physical activity. I don't like it when we don't get PT in the morning because I think it really helps me get through the day. Today we had our second exam so having an extra hour to study wasn't too bad. I made a 94% on the test! I was shooting for 80% so I'm quite pleased. My motto: all you gotta do is pass!

Yesterday I had the luxury of going to the BX. I got to eat FRENCH FRIES!!! with KETCHUP!! at my own pace! Wow! I'm really learning how to appreciate the little things in life. I've just about mastered the art of going back to sleep after the 4am ROTC wake up. We don't actually get up until 4:30am, but because I'm in the ROTC dorm, we are awakened when their bugle call goes off.

On a brighter note, my household goods (that's AF talk for "all your stuff") will be arriving at my new home in San Antonio on Thursday evening. It will be moved in and ready for me when I get there on July 31st/Aug. 1st. I spoke to my new neighbor, Mitch, on the phone last night. He sounds like a very polite young man (as do they all because everyone is so conditioned to say "yes sir, yes ma'am"). I also talked to my landlord, who is traveling with her two children, dog, and two cats on a plane to Japan right now. I guess things could be worse.

As always, I love your comments. Keep 'em coming!

Off to bed....

"Sir, May I Make a Statment?"

So the title to this entry reflects the absurdity of the specific language we must use to address our superiors here at COT. Every statement, question, or response to a question must begin with the word "Sir" (or Ma'am; although most of the Ma'ams here could pass as Sirs!). Additionally, the statement "Will that be all?" which must come at the closing of every interaction with staff, must be followed by a "Sir." Finally, "thank you" is one of those semi-optionals: my observation is that it can have a Sir on the beginning or the end. I like to sandwich it just to make sure I've covered all my bases. We also must offer the greeting of the day to anyone and everyone we pass in the hallway or sidewalk. This involves keeping up with the exact time of the day because if you say "Good morning, Sir" to some of these folks at 1pm you cannot use the excuse that you're living on eastern time. You'll get corrected and sometimes yelled at. This is a ridiculous process when you imagine 330 students passing eachother in the halls all saying "Good morning" at the same time. I'm being passive aggressive and only saying it when I absolutely have to (to staff), and then when I do, I don't look at the person and say it really loud. I know, it's a feabile attempt at being a rebel, but it's all I've got right now.

My new favorite friend, Worthington (everyone goes by last names here), and I did an eight mile run this morning!!! FREEDOM!!! We enjoyed a great conversation running through the golf course, past ponds, through the woods, and back. Maxwell is actually a very pretty base when you get away from the COT area. We comisserated and discussed our observations about our group. Like most runners, we told some of our own stories too (yeah! a real conversation!). It was great.

This weekend we have some much needed down time. We're studying for a big test on Monday, and we (our squadron- about 100 of the 330) get a pizza party this evening because we had the most people volunteer to give blood for the blood drive they had today. Yes, I gave... got cookies!!

I miss my kiddos. I miss my friends. I try not to think about it too much because I'll start to cry... although that's probably exactly what I need- a good cry. Sometimes I think, "why the heck am I doing this?" Fortunately, the Air Force knew I'd be questioning that (they seem to be thinking for me these days) and provided us with a briefing yesterday on all the "perks" of being on their payroll. Dad, you'll be glad to know I should be getting a check on Tuesday.

I don't think there are words that are expressive enough to convey my gratitude to all of you who are reading this and commenting. It really does help to see your thoughts and encouragements. It's like getting to hear your voices. You're with me all the time.

"Will that be all, Sir?"

Day Eight; 22 To Go!

Can anyone say "EXHAUSTION"??? I was almost to the point of catatonic sitting in class this afternoon. Today was Project X. This involves scenarios, such as "your plane is flying over the jungle and is shot down. You're being pursued by the enemy and have only 20 minutes to cross this gorge with only a 2X4, a rope, and a toothpick (okay, slight exaggeration...) You have a flight member with two broken legs on a stretcher who you have to carry across (they used a dummy- I was hoping I might get this job- lying on the stretcher!)" They don't actually set up a gorge but poles, etc. that represent the gorge. It's a problem solving/leadership activity. It was pretty fun, but very hard. I did get to swing on a rope onto a wall that was about 15 feet high. However, I have a horrible bruise on the back of my right knee that is killing me.

Tempers are beginning to wear thin. We are all falling asleep during breaks but at least our flight commander is very understanding about it. On a brighter note, I got to skip the lunch MRE today because of my "all important" postal pick-up job! I have dinning preference right at noon when I go to get the mail so that I can get back by 1pm.

It rained today!!!!!!!! LOVE THAT!!!

The cleaning people stole my king size pillow!!!! HATE THAT!! I know I shouldn't complain too much... who gets a cleaning service at basic training? :)

As for the indoctrination question, the propaganda here is over the top. I've seen more planes blow things up in the last eight days than I have in my entire life! I'm really not too much of an "action adventure" movie fan, and I'm at the point of just not even looking at the screen anymore when the stuff comes on. You have to be seriously "patriotic" to really get into this. I can see where it would really appeal to 18 year old boys trying to find their way in the world. Imagine all those GO ARMY commercials you've seen on TV. Now imagine watching them 23 times in one day! (okay, maybe a slight exaggeration again)

Better get to sleep.....

"Off we go, into the wild blue yonder!"

Carry On!!

I'm multi-tasking... sitting in a flight meeting crammed into a dorm room with 16 people. Today we completed the assault course. No, this does not involve guns.... it's really just a big obstacle course. It was actually FUN! The first "fun" so far! Although it was very hot and very dirty. We did the low crawl, face in the dirt. I have learned that I really don't like sand in my mouth.

For those psychologists and mental health professionals reading this, our group is entering the "storming" phase of group process. Yes, I am enjoying watching the people become very frustrated with our leader, questioning her decisions, and starting to simply ignore what she says. Poor girl. She's a brand new dentist, and she probably had no idea what she was getting herself into becoming the leader. I, however, knew exactly what leading this group would be like. Therefore, I am the postal officer, which has turned out to be a bigger job than I imagined. Think 330 people, all getting mail? I had the backseat of my car completely full of boxes and cards/letters. (I got one from my mom, thanks, mom!) It's fun to be the person who gets to deliver those boxes!

Tomorrow we go to Project X. I'm not exactly sure what this entails, but I sense it is a field problem solving exercise where we will have been told to bring a change of clothes and old shoes. Our flight commander (instructor) said, "I wouldn't stand in the water with an open wound." That's a little unnerving.

Today for breakfast... an MRE. Meatball Marinara at 5am is not exactly my idea of breakfast. Tomorrow I'll take a granola bar with me. We didn't get lunch until 12:00pm and dinner at 6:30pm. That's a long time to go with only the food you can stuff into your stomach in 9 minutes. The Air Force might just be a fantastic weight loss program!

I have managed to go two meals without mashed potatoes AND I've found the cake! It took awhile because you can't turn around when you're in line and they strategically place the cake in the middle of the serving area, which you have your back to. I kept seeing "cake" on the menu, but I could never find it? I've had German chocolate and tonight a coconut vanilla. Yummy!

It's late... gotta get to bed. To quote my flight commander as he leaves the room....

"CARRY ON"!!!!!

Happy Fourth of July!!!

First, let me say, I'm imagining you all getting together today with your friends and families, having hamburgers and hot dogs, deviled eggs, chips, watermelon, homemade ice cream, chocolate cake, etc. I celebrated the 4th by venturing out and having BBQ pork spare ribs with pinto beans for lunch! My first meal that did not involve chicken and mashed potatoes! I even had a piece of strawberry cake! YIPPEE!!! I managed to consume it in a mere 9 minutes!!! Don't forget... that includes the three 8 ounce glasses of water I must drink at every meal. I wonder if they have a marathon for eating? I might be a Boston qualifier??

My observations so far....

1. These young people need to take a chill pill. Maybe I'm too old for this? I have a really poor attitude about giving a rat's ass sometimes. I can't seem to care if my name tag is perfectly centered above my right pocket, or my shoelaces are tucked into my shoes, or my captain's bars are exactly one inch above the bottom of my collar perfectly centered and parallel. If I get yelled at, honestly, I don't really care too much. I've learned: I am not as anal retentive/OCD as I thought I was.

2. I have accepted a most prestigious position here at COT: Official Flight Postal Officer. Yes, friends, I volunteered for the least labor intensive, yet highly responsible position (read with sarcasm). My goal here is to do as little as possible and sleep as much as I can. This position affords me the opportunity to get into my car about one or two times per week (cool, huh!) and drive to the post office to pick up the mail for all 330 people (there will be another person with me), bring it back, and then get the mail for the 16 people in my flight. If you are interested in sending me any cards (hint, hint) the address is as follows:

Capt. Amanda McCorkindale, COT 09-05 India
550 E. Maxwell Blvd. #9000
Maxwell, AFB, AL 36112-500

Yes, folks, I've always said that I wanted to go to India someday. God has a great sense of humor! I'm in a flight (group of 16) called "India." If this is anything like the real India, I ain't goin'!

3. The alarm goes off at 4:30am regardless of if it is a duty day or not. I know this because the speaker for the sound system is situated directly outside my window.

As always, not much time so I need to get back to "studying." I've been screwing off on the internet (I am sooooo glad I bought this broadband card for my computer!). I might even enjoy a cup of coffee! ;)

Thank you all for your postings. Please, keep sending them. I need all the encouragment I can get right now. Even though thinking about you all makes me start to cry. No time for that.

30 days to go

Okay... I've got ten minutes to write something on this blog.... (read that as if I'm yelling at you at the top of my lungs!)

1. It is really, really hot in these uniforms (picture fatigues, long sleeves, canvas material with a camel pack on your back)

2. They yell a lot here and there are definitely some personality disorders amongst the group of instructors

3. I have eaten chicken and mashed potatoes for the last four meals. I was lucky to get french toast for breakfast. I ate my first MRE last night for dinner: meatballs in marinara (pretty much Chef Boy-R-dee, I think that's how you spell that? It took me back to childhood. Thanks, mom, for breaking me in!)

4. I have a nice flight commander (yes, I am extremely lucky... he does not yell at us and is actually pretty respectful... did I mention how lucky I am??)

5. I have learned that the greatest pleasure in life is getting to use the toilet when you really need to go

Signing off.... more later!